Well, Apple have come out with a new set of their (in)famous Mac/​PC adverts. Sur­pris­ingly, this time round I find that I’m not para­lysed with rage — just mildly dis­gus­ted and dis­ap­poin­ted — and can write about them. Obvi­ously, I should make it abso­lutely clear that, as adverts, I hate them. They’re pat­ron­ising, con­front­a­tional and almost exclus­ively focus on per­ceived short­com­ings of the oppos­i­tion. But, as usual, they also make some claims that are gen­er­at­ing some … debate around the net, and I thought — as user of both Macs and PCs without (I hope) any par­tic­u­lar par­tisan lean­ings — I’d be well placed to pick them apart and give an object­ive review of their claims.

So without any fur­ther ado, here are my thoughts on the ads:

Legal Copy

This one is weird. I’m not quite sure what it’s try­ing to claim. That Apple machines don’t auto-​​update? Not true. That they don’t make you agree to click-​​through licenses when they do so? Also not true. About the only jus­ti­fi­able claim I could see here is that PCs tend to have a higher volume of auto-​​updates. But then the vast major­ity of them are Win­dows Defender updates that don’t have a click-​​through any­way. If I had to make a call, I’d say I do more clicking-​​through of licenses loaded with Legal Copy on my Mac than I do on my PC.

As far as I can see, this one is out-​​and-​​out dishonest.

Bio­haz­ard

This is prob­ably the most con­ten­tious issue raised by the new (and old) PC/​Mac ads. Apple have always insisted that Macs don’t have vir­uses, and that PCs are much more at risk of infec­tion or being hacked. But then they do things like quietly post advice to run anti-​​virus soft­ware on their sup­port for­ums, and PC users are under­stand­ably quick to jump on that as evid­ence that Macs aren’t so safe as Apple would have us believe. So what is the deal? Can a Mac really hang around in his cas­u­als while nearby PCs are forced into isol­a­tion suits?

I’m going to say yes, but with a honk­ing caveat. The fun­da­mental truth of the issue is that there are almost no mal­ware threats to the Mac; there have been about five actual cases of OSX mal­ware mak­ing any head­way at all in the wild. Com­pare that to the thou­sands of dif­fer­ent PC mal­ware threats released into the wild every month, to the tens of mil­lions of PCs act­ively enlis­ted in bot­nets and the dif­fer­ence is so stark as to almost make Apple’s com­pla­cency jus­ti­fied. Almost.

The point is that the reason OSX is largely safe from mal­ware attack is that there is no mal­ware to be attacked by. It’s not that OSX is some magical virus-​​proof wonder-​​OS; it’s that it has too small a market-​​share to be worth a cyber-criminal’s time. If Apple con­tinue to grow their market-​​share then sooner or later someone’s going to go for them, and I sus­pect that when that hap­pens Apple, and the wider Mac com­munity, will be woe­fully unpre­pared. There’ll be a few hec­tic months while every­one and his dog gets infec­ted, Apple rush to get a fix out, play catchup for half a year and finally get on top of the prob­lem. At least as much as any other plat­form has.

I’ve heard it sug­ges­ted that telling people they don’t need virus pro­tec­tion is irre­spons­ible because it means that when a threat does arise, people won’t be pro­tec­ted. I don’t really agree, for a couple of reas­ons. Firstly and most gen­er­ally, I’m not con­vinced of the util­ity of anti-​​virus soft­ware on any plat­form. Con­sumers spend mil­lions of dol­lars a year on Win­dows anti-​​virus soft­ware, and infec­tion rates are still through the roof. Not only that but anti-​​virus soft­ware itself feels a lot like mal­ware to me; it insinu­ates itself in every corner of your OS, gives you no con­trol over what it does or when, often kills a machine’s per­form­ance, and all for what seems to be very little gain.

So given that anti-​​virus soft­ware is expens­ive, inef­fect­ive and det­ri­mental to a machine’s day to day run­ning, I fail to see how advoc­at­ing it’s use on a plat­form that doesn’t cur­rently need for it would be a respons­ible act. Espe­cially given my second point, which is that no-​​one really know what Mac mal­ware will look like when it appears, and until they do, how can any­one write soft­ware that has a fight­ing chance of coun­ter­ing it? It’s true that there are cer­tain stand­ard pat­terns to mal­ware design, and by look­ing out for those exist­ing soft­ware might get lucky, but my guess is that it’ll take six months after the first real wave of infec­tions for the anti-​​virus com­pan­ies to get up to speed on the sorts of exploits real mal­ware takes advant­age of and how to close the secur­ity holes.

Those six months should be plenty of time for Apple to reverse its mes­sage on vir­uses and get star­ted on what will, in all like­li­hood, be a continent-​​sized pile of humble pie.

So, er, to get back to the point of the advert, is it true that Macs don’t have to worry about vir­uses? I’m going to say yes. But with caveats.

Stacks

Another odd one this. I get the feel­ing they were just try­ing to advert­ise that iPhoto has this neat new fea­ture, but had to dress it up in their usual con­front­a­tional format to make it fit the ad-​​campaign. I mean, everything they say and imply is sort-​​of fair enough; iPhoto does ship with every Mac, and does have facial recog­ni­tion, where an out-​​of-​​the-​​box PC is much more lim­ited; it’s just that that’s not a par­tic­u­larly con­vin­cing point to make. Yeah, I guess organ­ising pho­tos by facial recog­ni­tion is sort-​​of neat (when it works,) and it’s nice that it ships with Macs by default, but it’s not like the tech­no­logy is unheard-​​of on the PC; there is free, eas­ily avail­able soft­ware (Picasa), that does it just as well.

This also is my favour­ite of these four new ads, because it high­lights the over­arch­ing mis­take Apple has made with the whole cam­paign; the PC is just a much more like­able char­ac­ter. It’s always true, but I think doubly so in this one.

So are the advert’s claims true? Yes, I think so, just also pointless.

Time Trav­el­ler

Appalling.

This sort of mud-​​slinging just pisses every­one off. It effect­ively says “PCs hang and crash all the time,” which, without jus­ti­fic­a­tion or stats, is just the advert­ising equi­val­ent of “PCs smell of poo!”

Hav­ing said that, I have to add: sub­ject­ively, my exper­i­ence has been that my Macs have been more stable than my PCs. That’s not to say that I’m a typ­ical case, or that my exper­i­ence is neces­sar­ily rep­res­ent­at­ive; it’s just what I’ve noted over the past half-​​a-​​decade or so.

I’m not going to let my sub­ject­ive exper­i­ence col­our my judge­ment on this one though; it’s just not jus­ti­fi­able to make these kinds of claims without sup­port. False.

The End

So there you have it. I reckon roughly a 50% hit rate on truth, only one advert that actu­ally has a con­vin­cing argu­ment for buy­ing a Mac, and even that one is so heav­ily caveated as to make the state­ment in isol­a­tion bor­der­line dishonest.

It’s a real shame Apple insist on stick­ing to this advert­ising cam­paign; as far as I can see, all it does is ali­en­ate people. It’s doubly frus­trat­ing to me because Apple make great products that I really like. I love both my Macs, and while not every­body is going to like them, they are def­in­itely good enough to sell on their own mer­its without need­ing to con­stantly bad-​​mouth the oppos­i­tion. Now, if only Apple would actu­ally tell people what those mer­its are.